The fall and recovery of my life.

I hope this is an inspirational post for everybody and not seen as gloating. When I went through the first couple of months, hearing success stories gave me hope, motivation and the power to persevere.

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A brief summary of what I went through and in order of which I found out: Married a woman that I had dated since I was 16. Found out about a current affair at the age of 27. That one had lasted the past 9 months. Revealed to me she was pregnant. Was told it was no doubt mine. Uncovered more affairs all the way back to when we were 17. I think my count is over 12 that I know of. Won my case to get a DNA test. She would not take it, filed to have her held in contempt. Won. Got my test done, not my child. Throughout the relationship I went through physical and emotional abuse. I was shamed, manipulated into thinking I was the reason our friends didn't want to hang out with us anymore, and that our friends were deceiving us. Lot of bullshit. I had suicidal thoughts through some of this because the pain was becoming unbearable. I took the dogs, moved in with my best friend, dropped 30 pounds, continued with my therapist (we were seeing one together, that's a long story itself), focused on my new career path, and set out to complete my life goals.

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3 years later...

I am newly engaged and we live in a house we bought together. I have found a wonderful woman who helped me through nursing school, who is a nurse herself becoming a nurse practitioner while I complete my bachelor's degree (have associates and practicing). I set my bar high and got my first RN position in an ICU. Huge goal accomplished. I am training for a marathon, staying in shape for 3 years consecutively is huge for me. I am traveling the country and the world relentlessly. Morocco, Canada, Peru, Belgium, and Amsterdam internationally since the divorce. Chicago, Kentucky, Louisiana, Minnesota, Michigan, California, Texas, Pennsylvania, Indiana, Wisconsin and Ohio in the states. China and Iceland in 2019. I will begin travel nursing in 2020 when my contract is up. I have my two wonderful dogs and Brady Bunched with my fiancee and have a 3rd now. We watch anime together all the time and its so refreshing to have same interests and be supported for ones we don't have together. She came with me on my annual baseball stadium road trip with friends even though it doesn't interest her much.

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I have been with her 2 years. I took a year to myself to recover. I learned a lot about other women in the mean time and learned that just because they are nice to me doesn't mean they are the holy grail match for me. Treating me with respect and returning the kindness is expected and part of being a decent human. I had to learn that a couple times in that year in between. That's one of my things I tell others who go through this. We deserve respect and kindness as the floor. I want some couches, tables and chairs on top of that floor I love too.

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I have had zero contact with the ex-wife since March of 2016. It came in two consecutive days. Day one I got the phone call that the child was not mine from the facility, I called her and told her the stunning news and hung up without letting her give a response. The very next day we met at the title company and signed away the house.

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It's a passing thought these days and I know I still have some lingering effects from it. After coming down from the high of being engaged for a couple of days my residual demons from this surfaced and my fiancee helped me through it.

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I hope this inspired somebody and gave them hope.